HEy everyone:
Sorry for not posting. I have been busy, adn life has been super busy here in ----. It snowed a few weeks ago; beautiful and amazing, i felt like  was in Seattle. A few of thte things we have been working for have finally come through, so it feels good to see some tings come into completion. 

Got an email and then more emials from some of my old track-teammates. That was nice. And most of you have emaled me to see if i am ok--thank you. 

Just doing like i've been doing: working, training, dancing, i got pulled ino kareoke to pay back my holiday show dancing partner, meeting lots of people, making friends with the locals, working, working, training, and making friends always. 

i am scheduled to be back sometine in the next few months--when i get back we will see how God shapes my life. 

Love yu all, and will send pics from the next competition. 

d

So, i have had a lot on my plate the last month, as you have probably read from the last email. I will try to keep this short. i will make a New Years resolution to update this more often so none of you worry. Thank you for the emails, posts, letters, cards, thoughts and well wishes. 

I hope you have a wonderful New Year and Blessings.


 

Merry Christmas one and all!

Some of you haven't heard from me in a while, probably a good year or so.  I apologize. A lot has happened.

So I will use this as my yearly update as well.

First of all, I want to say hello, and although I have not stayed in the best of touch, it does not mean I have not thought about you. On the other-hand, some of you see way too much of me and wish you were not so every-day with me

 = ).

This year, I remember watching my second Super Bowl in Cheyenne, which means I have been there for two years. I suppose that's how I will have to count my time there. I am slowly transitioning my thinking from school-years to calendar years but I might have to go by super-bowl years instead = ).  Well, as some of you know, I am an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Maintenance Officer—meaning I work with the very large missiles in the ground pointed at the USSR, which were hinted at in Dr. Strangelove (not the one in the plane). (also, I have no idea where they are pointed actually)  I was moved from the vehicles section to the section which maintains the nuclear part of the missile. With 60 troops, I learned quickly that although you have people with problems, most people are good, hard workers. I enjoyed my time with them, struggling at first, being a young female officer amongst some of the smartest, toughest pain-in-the you-know-what guys in our career field. I say that with love—I have never met a better bunch of guys who worried constantly for their LT, wondering if her car would fall apart and if she made it home safe, worrying if they had enough chocolate to throw at her when she was in a bad mood or feisty, patiently waiting as she had to yet-again, pee behind the truck tire. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about, then let me describe to you what a dispatch is like (And my troops do this every-other day).

(for the non military types, minus 12 to get the pm time)

Wake up at 0430

Be at work 0500

Get trucks/tools ready

Start driving around 630-0700

Arrive on site 0830-0930

Finish work/maintenance without any problems 1300-1600

Arrive home 1600-1800

Put tools away/post dispatch stuff and leave for home 1600-2000

 There are so many variables so you never know what a day will be like: where we are driving to, what job we are doing, what the road conditions are like, how well the vehicles are working etc, weather, snow, I forgot to mention the snow that settles on the site that we have to shovel, so how much snow is a HUGE factor in timelines…..

The missile sites are in the middle of Farmer Joe's field, in the middle of Nebraska or Colorado or Wyoming and there are no bathrooms, nothing except what we bring with us.  Typically, as I drink a million gallons of water, I have to pee, (big surprise to anyone?) 5 or more times when I go out (typically once a week). Its usually not a problem, hiding behind a truck tire, until the wind kicks up, I get snowballs thrown at me, OR they threaten to move the truck on me!!!!! Gotta love them, though. I pay them back and eat their lunches. "Hey, what are you eating? that's what I thought, hand it over!"

 I am going to shock many of you: I got a cat in think in Jan or Feb. I got a cat because I happen to have no one to cuddle with and  I was lonely. My one of my girlfriends, Lisa wanted to get a cat, and I accidentally fell in love with one which didn't make me sneeze too much. I named her Dasha and she is awesome, cuddling with me at night like a baby, causing me to vacuum at least twice a week, and to keep my house relatively organized. Its clean, but while I was remodeling my bathrooms, stuff was everywhere. I have to admit, books and shoes are still probably everywhere. My friends from the homeless shelter were awesome and laid the tile, helped fix the dry-wall, and fixed all the odds and ends things such as the door handle that didn't work but I didn't bother me enough to notice…speaking of homeless—my bestest friends in the whole world either live or work at the homeless shelter in Cheyenne. I have learned so much about love and acceptance from them. If it wasn't for the fact that they always ate the food I cooked, always were glad to see me, and would make me laugh when I had a bad day at work (which I had many when I was still learning the ropes in my new job), I would be a depressed mess right now. These are beautiful people who have learned what is important in life: the basics. I have spent hours baking, cooking, bossing my guys around in the kitchen (I got them to volunteer with me sometimes and we had a blast). I am forever grateful to them for loving me and being my friends. Not to say that the people I have worked with have been some of the greatest supporters either because I have discovered that once you make a bond with someone in the military, they will stand by you, teach you, learn from you, watch out for you and support you. How many times did one of them try to convince me to sell my car, or show me adds for newer cars or fix my car in negative 20 degrees?

Ok move on to June. I deployed to Iraq. That is where I am typing from right now, on Christmas Day. I volunteered to deploy (which I had been wanting to do for a long time) and wow, chances upon chances, it happened. I very much believe God had a hand in directing this, because I happened to be in the right time, at the right place to volunteer and it has turned out to be an awesome experience. I am the Officer In Charge of the ARMY education center on an Army and Air Force (sort of joint) base. We are an Air Force unit which works for the Army and I spend hours daily talking to people, making them laugh. I taught an English class here and discovered that sometimes I get so excited about writing, I get Goosebumps up and down my back. My students thought I was crazy but it was an awesome feeling—being part of something bigger than your every day. Writing, the written word (o brother, here I go), is an attempt to capture the infinite, the eternal, in a human, structured form. Ideas have shapes like clouds, always moving and changing, but when they are caught and put down on paper they become concrete and finite, definable. The closer their structure and organization is to the idea that has been trapped, the more beautiful, the more pure the writing is. Anways, somehow, I get that same feeling when I dance, that I am taking an ethereal moment and am expressing it in movement, well not me so much, as me and my partner, if they know how to dance. Dancing, I have discovered has become an integral part of my life.

 So, I have attached a few pictures, hopefully it will work, but if not, immagine me and santa, me dancing, and me bodybuildig....

Santa came to visit me (My Dance partner for the Holiday Show).

The dancing pictures are from the Holiday show in which we (a pilot friend who is tall enough for me to dance with) waltzed, foxtrotted, and then I country polkaed with another gentleman. We did this in front of a huge theater full of people. My friends I usually dance with salsaed, bachataed and murenged. It was a blast and I hope to be able to do it again.

The other pictures are from my recent Hard Body Competition. My coach, who is in one of the pictures, and I trained very hard for this event and actually, all it took was a lot of lunges, a weird diet, and a lot of dancing with tuns of clothes on (to procure some sweat). (I felt like a dork the night before my competition, painted all orange, walking around in my uniform, getting weird stares at church). I didn't really have any competition so I am eager to try this again and really compete (only 2 of us up there). I will be competing again in before I go home, which brings me to my next thing:

I will be back in about 3 to 3.5 months. I extended because if I didn't stay here until I get a certain replacement, some of the education programs would have had to be turned off. Its ok, I volunteered and have enjoyed my time. I have met Iraqis, Indians, Sri Lankans, Ugandans, Puerto Ricans and various other Latin Americans as well as Soldiers and Air Force alike. I have discovered the beauty of a sandy and dry country, or as much as I can see/feel from inside my compound here. I can see the beauty of the people we are fighting for, their simplicity, their culture that has learned to survive in the midst of corrupt regimes. The faults of the people come from this survival mode which has formed a culture—of course I have limited contact with these people so I only know this from my interactions with 15 Iraqi men.

 As to God: the truth about Him is that he loves us. I have discovered this, although I still do not feel the love the way I want, but I have discovered this fact: that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Choices made, people we hurt, circumstances which hurt, people who hurt us—all these things are used to grow us up in maturity. It up to us to accept what as it is called "discipline." I can choose God, or I can choose my own way—I choose my own way and I end up hurt. I choose God's way and I will still hurt some of the time, but the thing is, it is me that hurts because God is growing and expanding the things inside me. If I chose my own way, I hurt others in the process. And I have done a lot of that this year, and it is not fun. People are meant to be loved, not hurt, bBut God is faithful, and patient, and eager and yearning for his children. That is what I have discovered this year about Him.

 Other things: Some of my closest friends are getting married. Amazing, girls you've known since you were 5 or 12 or 19 getting married! Weird. It's a new time in my life as I realize that I am in the age-group that does get married. Its probably time I start paying attention to that part of my life; however, whenever I do do pay attention to it, it doesn't turn out right. So I might just leave that in God's hands.

-My brother is in JR HIGH! How crazy is that? Its amazing how children change and you don't even know it. Every time I do get to see him, it's a pleasure and a surprise at how aware and grown up he has become.

I- put on first LT in June. I forgot about that. Nice little pay raise but then I had to return the "get out of jail free second Lieutenant bar"…..

I should be in Cheyenne for at least another year, but I am not sure. We will see where God and opportunity is going.

 I know this is long, and I forgot a lot of things, and it is very disjoined because my stomach is eagerly digesting cornbread stuffing (all the time I was on my diet for the competition 2 days ago I wanted cornbread stuffing. Odd, I know), and all the blood has rushed to the mid section. Please pass this along to anyone else that I might have missed. Some email accounts I do not have.

 I love you all, and I pray that you will understand the joy of God's love, and its depths, His kind heart, and the eagerness in which He waits for you. I also pray that this New Year is full of movement for you, for exciting growth and words and dancing--whatever it is that motivates you, I pray this next year is full of it for you.

HUGS

DOM

keep me posted on mr husby. 

i loved getting your message although i am not sure what ???????????????????????????????????????????
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\?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? is all about. 

how is school? i love you.  

ps say hi to all th ekids for me. i cna't get a gecko home, so what else do you want?

i have to wear my PT jacket in the morning. duduahdahhh....Its the same one i wore at CAMP USAFA and it still has the little insignia on it (embroidered so i can't get it off). I get more questions about it. It could be a pick up line but i am starting to lose interrest in the, "hey, can i get your email?" adn teh "whats that doing on your PT Jacket?" as they are looking at my chest---well that doens't score a lot of points either...

 I refuse to wear the pants. its a matter of pride and sounds. The are too loud and i prefer the enemy not hear me swishing as i walk to the bathroom inside my buidling. I might deafen the whole base. If the whole of the af wore the swishy suits, the whole of iraq would be deaf...and that could be advantageous. to us at least. 

so i have a sort of rando story to tell, but for the first time in a long time, its to God's glory and it actually makes me feel like my old self again (the girl everyone knew in jr or hs) although i am not my old self but something strangely new and lumpy. lumpy is a good term for it. lumpy...hmm, i like it. new and lumpy. like a wierd al song. 

anways, i have been doing the salsa on saturdays and i just hvn't felt like going. so i decided i would go to the hospital the very next sat. so i did--walked into the volunteer place, discovered there were no kids who needed playing with, nothing else to do but to look at sleeping people.  The nurse told me if i wanted to go talk to ths af girl (who was sleeping at the moment) b.c she was pretty young. 

She woke up, so i went and started making conversation. She was there for an asthma attack, nothing mroe and i was glad b.c she looked like she had just graduated HS. we start talking, and at first i am just making conversation. But it turned to the struggles she is having here, being away from family, to men, to heartache, to lonliness adn to God. I shared with her some of my struggles as an oh so old 25 year old (hey to a 19 year old, 25 adn a lt, and graduated from college is pretty old or adult at least.) she starts choking up and  a tear squeezes out of her beautiful eyes. I grab her hand b.c  i had felt God moving the conversation (wow, hadn't felt like that in a very long time), and she looks at me and says, "I prayed for you." which is a past tense statement. which means it had already happened, a while ago, and probably not since we started talking and before that she was asleep. so this was something significant. I looked at her to clarify.  she has a few tears now, and i am leaning in to hear.  she says, "i prayed God would send me smoeone who undrestands me" adn i think, its true, we are so much alike, our struggles rae so much the same, our pains are similar, except she is relatively unscathed by the world, still pure and beautiful and i see me right before my eyes, the me that i wantd to be at least, adn i think, yes, this has to be the lord. 

HOly crap is my response. that means responsibility. that means someone else is looking at me to be the person God has planned for me to be. that means i am not alone in my foolishness. that means God hasn't forgotten me, or allowed me to escape, nor have i lost my calling. it is still there. whatever it is. She had been praying for ME? yes, it had to be me b.c i dnd't have to once strain the coversation. it just flowed, natural, and as i have mentioned before, i felt the lord moving it. naturally. I FELT THE LORD MOVING IT---holy crap! i was able to discern.

I left her sleeping, happy that God heard her cries for a someone who understood, who understood from the same fundamental viewpoint as her. that is hard to find nowdays in the world. its not HS anymore where your friends all believe the sme thing. this is th emilitary. there is th eworld. there is the christian culture. there are both in the military. and then tere are people. forget teh culture, forget avoiding the world culture and forget hiding with the christaiins at church or bible study or.......(i better not start this conversation or i will run out of time)...there are people who are beautiful despite their location on the morality scale, despite their drinking skills, sexual prowess or even persuasion. they are people. adn people need to be loved. people are hurt. people are beautiufl. Anways, what i am saying is, it is hard to navigate and existence correctly when you love people but have no "culture" to fall back to. thats been my struggle. But here, God has brought ME someone who was wanting me, to be a people-lover with, to remind me who i was, who i am, adn to be a freind. a friend that is a girl. a girl friend. a female. how nice. 

anways, this litte girl (she is tiny and young) has already made a profound impact on me. It is teh biggest divine apptment here so far adn all ths comming after i prayed God would redeem my time and still show me my purpose for being here...

so for my praying friends, keep praying. God is breaking through. 

on another note. ran vetran's day race adn did a 23. 58. I think i could have even gone faster if i had someone torun with. I passed up a lot of people and i know i am doing better. it was fun, ad not tortureous. = )

i am doing a hard-body cmopetition in Dec. Pris--this is for the one we never did. I am in the process of trying to get cut. its quite the process. These legs of mine WILL show a hamstring BEFORE i am done. 

I am also dancing in th eholdiay showcase, dacning th waltz. i have two tall men i am teaching to waltz, and i have forgotten how to do the right hand turns, and a lot of other things. some of the stuff i don't eevn know how to do, i just know how to follow well. problem is, i am th eone who knows how to dance adn these dudes don't. so i have to teach them, and we get on line and anways, its fun adn i love waltzing....= )

my best friend noticed that the AF is kind of snooty. its true. thats my impression too. but it is also true that seamen tend to be sloppy. Soldiers tend to be slower, and marines are always twitchy. i am in a joint enviornment and see them all. AF is like the snobby upper-class service, probably that way b.c its the new kid on the block, probably that way bc it tends to fly and use the best technology, and probably b.c its boots wern't made for walking, or marching, but for climbing in and out of, over and under, aircraft. But she is right. But it is a well known observation that navy men tend to look poorly in their univorms. Marines look georgeous. Army look brave. AF look like business men, and boring. 

my other good friends out there, megs, happy bday. Robyn, malia, etc, love reading your updates. Becks, praying for Jason AND....

cheyenne, hahah, its still warmer here than there. and i will see you soon. i forgot how to two step--so i am looking forward to it when i get back. = )

love you all

me

I didn't realize it had been so long since i posted last. I appologze. i can no longer get onto this system at convienient hours........

so updates:  work is still frustrating b.c our two different services have different mindsets on what is important. Troops first is what i think is best, and tyicaly my serviec agrees. sometimes the other services do not value education or promises......anways, thats my frustrated part. the rest of the time i love my job. love it. people to help, people to meet. and my replacements called the other day, meaning my time is getting shorter, not tht i am anxious to leave, but that it means maybe some changes will come for these poor guys.........
Thanks to all who have send books adn such for the troops. its been great makign them read about punctuation.  Its a great resource. and all the CLEP books too +)

and all the other mail i get, i appreciate it, even though i don't actualy respond. 

So its turning cold here--and by cold i mean its in th elow 70s at night and mid 80s during the day. i have started wearing my swetasuit top/jacket b.c i get goosebumps. 

i participted in anohter biathalong: 1000 m swim adn a 5k. I placed 6 out of 10 women and 27 out of 60. its ok, i am ok with my tme, but i think i should have pushed a litte harder on the run.

i am planning on doing a hard body competition right before we leave here, towards the end of december. never done anything like ti before, and thought HERE was a good place to do it.  most people i will never see again anways.....lol

i am looking for a wazling parter and think i may have found one for th e HOliday showcse....... there are people who can salsa better than me, no one to really swing with, although i think i may have someone if they are HERE at that tme (a tall pilot friend of mine) adn then maybe i can teach him how to waltz........

speaking of waltz, i was at swing class when the head leader guy cme up to me with another guy in tow and said the guy wated to foxtrot. Not only could he foxtrot, but he could swing, tango and dun dun dun duuuuuuaa, he could walze adn vienese waltz.....we literally dnaced ALL night. No joke. it was amazing. and now he is home. it was the best night ever, not quite of my life although i don't know if i can think of a more magical time ever.....to walze all night adn the guy was an instructor and a competitor and although i din't really know half of th stuff, i could follow it.....and when we got kicked out of the dancing room, we went to the tv room adn danced adn all these people from india and pakistan etc just stopped to watch us...........anways, i am still high about that night. it was awesome. 

i am going to the hospital tonight. i feel a slight guilt that all i do here is dance adn wdork out and hang out with my friends.  (we play dominoes sometimes). i will volunteere hoping there will be a way i can be used. its hard when its really slow, but its good that its slow. there are iraqi children in there sometimes, and i like to play with them. but i can't kid anyone, i have only gone twice. now i feel very self cenered!

well, my brother did well in school and i am proud of him. 

and i guess everyone else is dong well. 

love you all

me

well i tried to post on my birthday but the thing would not work. thnk you all for the birthday sentiments!

 things are going ok, and its getting colder. I woke up this morning in my shorts and tee shirt with shivers--outside!  i mean i didn't wake up outside but i shivered in my tee shirt and shorts with the cold.  and last night i went for a run, in the dark adn it was only 6pm.  tut tut, it feels like winter.  we've had a sprinkle here and a dusting there but no major rain, thank goodness. when it does, the mud will be incredible. and we'll be even dirtier/dustier in our buidling. 

we have gotten some answers regarding the education of teh people here, BUT not all hte answers we need. I get tired of telling people, no i can't help you. I have done some figuring and gotten around the system just a little bit, but even so, the majority of the time its a, i'm sorry. 

that really bothers me. 

i have discovered mice. we had bats adn lots of bat poop dripping f rom the ceiling. We got that cleaned and got teh roof sealed. OF curse the geko lizard things are everywhere but i lke them, sort of friendly, on the bathroom walls, in your hsower drain, scurrying across the floor when you upen the door adn startle them. But the mice--i was hopoing for none of them, and maybe its just the cold, but i have seen 3-4 in the last few weeks. It makes me worry for my books. I know from first hand experience that mice love the taste of book. and that troubles me b.c so many of my books still don't have any homes on any of the shelves. that will be solved soon because DATA Villiage Software donated a computer library system to us, and we will soon get it. I am excited for this next new project. 

Salsa, well, i have discovered i have a few new partners. and i have apicture of me dancing with them. i didnt relize i was so tall, or that they were so short! i look like a giant, although i feel tall dancing with them, i did't realize it looked so funny. 

i went to teh hospital the other day. its sort of a safe haven to me, i think, like the homeless shelter. The nurses and stuff wern't the nicest--of course tey're not, some fairweather do-gooder has popped in for an hour or two to make themselves feel better. And it worked. I held the hand of a little girl and sang her to sleep. She had gotten shome shrapnel in her stomach and her brother was blown up next to her (not our doing but of those from her country). I can't immagine the trauma in her head. Her father was with her but he would wander off every few minutes and then it sounded like she was crying for her mamma. I dn't now the word for mamma but it alwasy seems so close in every language. I just held her hand and prayed for her. and sang to her little songs. Her father nodded to me when i left. that is a huge acknowledgement from a man here. i will probably be going back more. 

well, i hve to say a serious thank you for all th eboxes adn cards and goodies that hve been sent this way. i have to be honest, i have shared a lot of stuff with our patrons but i am hoarding all the haloween candy adn the like for a few days before haloween. Its a huge moral pick me upper to get mail. if you don't have my addy email me at my other email and i can give it to you. i don't really need anything but if you want to contribute here, candy at the front desk is always appreciated. I didn't realzie how many people feel pretty good adn feel they are supporting the troops when they send stufff here. 

anways, i love you all. hang in there. i am doing the same and as ever, am safe. love you

well i tried writing something nice, but it didn't come out nice. i remember Thumper's Mother telling Thumper, "Thumper, what did your father tell you?" and he responds, "if you can't say someting nice, don't say nothin'" and here his sister jumps in "anyhting" and he whispers to her "oh yeah"--
"dont say anything at all"

its been a long week, and i am not getting the answers i need for my troops. I have hurt a dear friend of mine. and i hiave been a little under the weather. but other than that, i am good. i got some blisters dancing salsa last night and they are delicous. it means i danced good and hard. 

i hope you are all good. i am completely safe. i love you all.

its funny how life is. you meet people, you get attached somehow, and then wham, something happens and they have to leave, they decide for some reason they don't want to be around you anymore or lots of other things. and you are left holding the bag, saying, well, i thought everything was good, i don't want you to leave yet, I didn't now i would care! then what? what do you do when you realize you do care and the person is a million miles away? what do you do when you want something so badly and it just won't happen for you? Now many of you may thing i am just tlaking romatnically, because we all know, deep down inside the cynical, rockhard and bitter shell of a person that i am, that i am a hopeless romantic. but i am not just talkign about that. there are things in life, that one wants badly, for a family to be whole again, for a friend not to be hurt in their hearts, for people not to be confused and lost, for angry bitter people to feel love again, for a friend to return, to udnerstand. Life has a way of creating holes without ever being able to fill these holes.  And i suppose thats where God steps in, despite the fact that we ignored him last time he warned us that it would hurt us, despite the fact that we want something contrary to his law, despite the fact that its not him we want but someone or somethign else, and he is still there, right there, just waiting for us to acknowledge him, at our side. And of course choosing his way, to let go, to let him handle it, to let him deal with the issudes in our hearts, that of course, is as traumatizing as the hole that put it there, but alas, where else is there to turn? we ourselves make things to complicated, spin to many lies about the holes--our immaginations run too deep, emotions too strong, ideas too self vcentered to be of any good to anybody. now i have to go, becaues shop just opened up.

 MY dear almost bigger than me bruther, (see if you can tachc all of ym mistakes today!)

i have this htought for you and i think you migh tlike it. but please contemplate on it, and the rest of you, contemplate on this. WHen i was in WY and having a pretty hard time because i didn't have a lot of friends, and things wern't so good on the home front, a major gave this to me. And then my best friends, ANDREW, you know who they are, the ones we played the game wiht when you came to visit, anways, they also gave this to me. Andrew, i think this is also for you:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and
fabulous?"
Actually, who are we not to be?
We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. 

--forgot who wrote it 

ANDREW, i love you and everyone else, read this over too. Is this not the calling of God on our lives?


ME

  so i had this nice long one last week all typed out and instead of pushing "post" at the bottom, i pushed post at the top which then poceeded to WIPE everything and i was so upset b.c it was a good one. 

updates:

I did a biathalon. "Hotter than Hell Biathalon" an 800m swim which I completed in 16 33 and the next is finishing the 5k with a 26.51 and two minute transition time.  you will have to do the math. 

i won CGO (company grade officer [all lieutenants and captains]) of the MOnth of September. Pretty cool. i got some good people working for me. 

One of my dearest and bestest friends in the world got engaged and then moved halfway across the world. 

One of my dearest and bestest friends will be supported by a missionary group halfway across the world. 

My brother started Jr High and has half of hte teachers i used to half. so wierd. i only hope he finds his niche there. Hes an awesome guy and i wish i was there to experience him. 

My other bro and sis are teenagers, the elder is driving the younger looks like she is 16 and is only 14. CRAZY. 

My darling cousins have had birthdays or will have them very soon making them OLD. OLD. OLD. Can't believe i am turning into half of a half century very soon. they are half of that. poop. 

I have made friends with about 12 men, natives of hte place i am at. they are darlings, although the main guy doen'st pay much attention to me until he is done tlaknig to the other men. and it was the first time i felt completely naked when i was in shorts and a t shirt. they share their food with me, rough, dry, flat bread rolled around some pickled veggies, potatoes and eggs, or whatever else they have. good but rough. 

my turkish are the greatest friends on earth. they have been awesome, making me laugh, "hiring" me in their jewelery store, adopting me as sister and one as fiancee, although i try desperately to tell him it won't happen.  he is half my height and quite georgeous and for split seconds at a time, i am tempted to take his offer. 

i was cold last night when it was 90 degrees.  i was in shorts and a tee shirt and wanted some gloves and a sweatshirt and pants. 

i have some of the greeatest people working for me, making me laugh. We have formed a sort of family. the major next door comes and checks on us a lot, and as the Indian life guards at hte pool call her, "american red cross" comes to visit all the time too. we all celebrate birthdays and various thigns together and meet rather spontaneously for lunch or dinner. 

Pray for me. pray for my troops. but pray for those troops who go outside. i have a friend who is a medevac pilot. pray for him and for the men and women and children he pics up. 

had a convo wiht my dad for a second--it was his birthday--and he said that they want to pull some troops out. Well all i can say is that it has done a lot of good for us here. where i am. despite what your papers say, the difference here is incredible. i can't go inot much detail. 

and as to that, i am convinced we are doing something here. at some level. my iraqis just want to have their families, raise their 12 children, get married, or try to deal wiht losing a wife--like any other people, in any other country. some of them fast for ramadan, some of them try to fast, but the point is, they choose what they are donig. they are not forced to be radical but they can chose to be as religious or not religioius as they want. that is the point. they have the choice. and they are excercising their choice. maybe not everywhere but here they do. and that is the point. they are not foced to hide their women completely, although most of them do; they are not forced to go dig and bury things in the ground that could be dangerous for people walking on that ground. they are chosenig because we are provinding that atmostpehre for them where they can chose. i am not so convinced they would have that choice if we left. maybe not so important to many people, and maybe not worth our dying, but maybe to see these pepole, to love them, others would see their value. I suppose though, that is comming from someone who is not risking their life daily. 

anways, i need to go to bed. i love you

aahhh i almsot went to "post" up above. but yea, i remembered. now, i will just push the post button below and it iwll work. steady girl, ready post!

THings are good here. SCONES are delicious. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i didn't forget........yay for me. Hope the icecream is good. we were discussing today in my shop how delicoius icecream is. and hten we wanted some. but there isn't a store to get any and our dining facility is only open certain hours. so we went and found a frozen popsicle thinggy in our neighboring units freezer and split it! love you 

 well--i am HERE--and i am a librarian of sorts. who would have thought? today the library was shaped and arranged. Good. Now maybe the secret elves which live in my buidling will put the books on the shelves for me. who knows?

yesterday was Sep 11, and even though i am closer to it all, i feel farther away. Mabye b.c i am a librarian (well, more than that, but what else do i call it?) it frustrates me sometimes, but i love what i do. I am helping people, what could be greater? anways, that s what i want to do eventually. Help pepole, but help them with what? 

who knows.

K i am not too wordy today, nor am i deep today. So i guess i will just say that i love you and i think abut you. all of you. 

Be safe and thank you for supporting us. it is obvcious to all of us here that all of you there (most of you) support us. thanks for that. 

and if you know someone i know, and they want this link, its ok with me to send it to them. 

love you

well hello everybody,

a very good friend of mine loveingly pointed out that i have not posted in a very long time.  I have not forgotten you or ignored you, infact, I have appreciated your notes and such. Thank you.  

So i get to my job, and its an ok place, i mean, it runs. In the last two weeks since i got here,  i feel like i am cooking at my darling homeless shelter.  This is how it tends to go when i am there: gather some ingredients, some carrots, some onions, tomatoes, more onions, potatoes, no lots more potatoes, MORE onions, ground beef, cheese, tomatoes again, good grief, MORE ONIONS! and then it goes something like this: you--chop onions. You-peel carrots. Then give to the first guy to shop. You and you, peel potatoes. You two, thaw and cook the ground beef. Yeah, i thin we'll add the onions and carrots to the beef, no, no. hold off on that for a while. sautee them instead. No, you're right, add the carrots and onions and later on we'll add some celery to that. I din't know we had celery. Great. You three, standing around, we need some cakes. Ya, go ahead and bake those cakes, but we need to do two triple batches, and while yo uare at it, bake some cookies....hey, you don't want to chop onions? Ok, i'll do it. No problem.Oh sorry, didnt  mean to step on  your foot, but that ground beef smells good. Did you add any spices? no? Salt even? NO SALT! add some salt, and pepper and some, hmmmm, yes, add some cumin and a little chilie powder, no not too much. HEre's the onions for htat. Potatoe people, how's it comming? Ok, yeah, how about we shop them like this? We're making? I dn't now yet.  I will tell you when we are finished. Cheese, oh ya, tomatoe choppers, start grating cheese.....potatoe people, hurry up, and ground-beef people, don't overcook the meat, infact, leave it a little raw.  Ok,  i need some help, we're grabbing corn and pees. You, yes, i know yo love to open cans, wanna help? I thnk the cake is probably ok, since you have it in the oven. I am glad you found all the eggs in there....
potatoes are boiling, beef is half-cooked with carrots, onions and tomatoes.... ok, well, i guess we can get some bread and start making some garlic toast, while we wait for the potatoes to boil.....ok, darn, thats hot, careful, we always burn ourselves when we do this, its ok, grab the masher, yeah, thanks, and some butter too....ok, mash, and i'll get hte salt, and pepper and little bit of garlic, use the blender at the same time, yes, two of you....ok i need two large pans, mashed potatoe a layer, tehn some beef stuf, then some corn, then peas--oh, better drain those, but add the drained stuff to the leftover potatoe water--good for soup--yeah, then add alittle chease, and more potatoes on top, and more cheese....oh grab two eggs, scamble them and coat the potatoes before the cheese...yea.....i guess we're making sheppard's pie.

ok, so all that to say, i really didn't nkow what we were making, even just then, till i was in the middle of it. I am not at all sure that is a good way to cook if your peoples don't know or trust you.  however, a process is about learning and adapting on the run. I just have to make sure i communicate my vision while we are running. We have done a lot of awesome things here in two weeks. I feel good, setting up classes, and policies, and reorganzing a library, and helping people and recruting instructors and buying furniture and cleaning the counter and digging for answers.....its a good feeling when things get accomplished. ANways, thats whats been going on.  I love it. So many people to meet......



by the way, those of you who have sent me a package, THANK YOU. I have recieved some awesome things, grandma and grandpa (awsome with 12 of thsoe books--i have a total of 17 now--allmost ready for a class), some awesome CDs, swim cap/goggles, a PFE, flip-flops, SOCKS--the ankle type--, thank you., thank you.  For the rest of you, i will try to get you my addy but i have to do it the old way, via email.......if you want anything let me know. I have some good friends nad can get cool things at a decent price: jewelery, carpets, vases, wine sets etc........(send me some money and i can do the shopping).......i can't buy everyone a $650-$3,000 rug!)

wth love

really,  things couldn't have gotten any better--except maybe i could see all of you every once in a while at least.  God in His wisdom had done something wonderful (no i am not engaged) and i am completely happy and content, not to say excited out of my mind for the oppertunity i have (no i am not doing anything dangerous).  I was made the education center officer in charge.  Meaning, i have a huge library that needs a librarian, a lot of classes that i have to convince to teach (college prep classes) and i am eveng giong to teach on myself.  I am so excited as there is so much potential, and so much needing work. Pray for wisdom, clarity, and organization on my part.  I need some help in that department, as you well know.  Anways, if i havn't emailed its because i have been trying to catch up a month in 5 days. ......


Things are good. Some of you are awaint a reply to an email here or there...i havn't forgotten you.   Thanks all for asking how i am doing and i am SAFE so do not worry.  I did however, fall ten feet off my bed the other night, well i almost rolled out of bed at least--good thing it is not a top bunk, or a bunk at all....


k i love you, and maybe some of you who don't sign, add a name of some sort that i will FOR SURE KNOW, if you don't want to add your real name. I understand if you don't. 


Other than that, i am just thankful to be here and for all my friends and for everything. I have lizards and cockroaches in my bathrooms.  I have books piled everywhere. I have two troops.  And the lizards jump by the way, like no joke, jump from the floor to the side of the walls. They might be geckos but i dno't know. Don't worry, they are not that big. 

lveo you

Current Mood: crazy

Well, 
i just wanted to tell my family and friends, especially this old guy in the picture here, how much l love them.  Monkey-man, if you even wanted to see a lizard jump, then here is the place. They jump out of your hand like a well--i can't think of how they jump out of your hand like. they do though, for being so little they get a lot of air though. They are also a lot of cool colors. but they are tinyi. K i gotta go. Love you.u

well the truth is, sometimes, just sometimes we don't have to be the absolute best at what we are doing. Its ok, its not what we do but who we are that makes us loveable. 


So, another truth: its pretty hot outside when you walk to work at 655 am and you say to yourself, 100, pretty cool this morning. 


Another truth: lizards are way better to have than mice. They don't sink like popcorn and they DO NOT CRUNCH in the middle of the night on your chocolate stashed under your desk. 


THe last truth i can think of at this moment: I got some pretty good friends out there who support me. And family too. Even if i havn't emailed you yet or even given you my website, its probably only b.c. i can't manage to get some time in to just sit and do what i want. and i am thinking of everybody. 

With Love.

Current Mood: tired

so the thing is, i am better, and i have certain friends that can attest to this, but, as i was saying, i am way better at such things as digging, or moving or carrying things than i am at trying to focus on a math problem. Numbers have this way of jumping out at you and scaring you so you forget what they are. It happens all the time on the telephone touch pad. the numbers like to play chinese firedrill or like to hide, or suddenly, they all look the same. Its not really that fair to someone like me. I prefer to play games with letters, because evne fi ltetesr etg cnfosude, htye illst mkae snees. well to me anyways. 

Like when i was a kid, or in high school, or wait, even in college, i spent more time on trying to get the numbers to quit switching clothes on me, . They should all look different--or be color coded. Maybe i could do mat with different colors, like m&Ms. Red could be 1, blue could be 2. Hey, whats red plus blue? Obviouisly plurple. ...

Sometimes during math class, i wanted to run outside and play. Or go read a book. Thats sometimes what happens. 

got to go

I had this thought the other day. What if we had 28 hours in the day but no one else knew about it? That would leave 4 hours that no one could steal from you!!!!

no on else thought my idea funny or clever but i made myself laugh. 

Then the next morning, after waking up the two perevious mornings on the wrong side of the bed, i went for a run, and on my 5 minute walk back from the showers i looked up into the rising sun. THere is so much dust in the air that the sky is pink and yellow and golden and blue, even when the sun is 45 degrees up from teh horizon. and then it turned blue, with white, think, paint brushed clouds, clumped like little square bricks. There was a tree in front of it all, where i was standing. A TREE! they still excite me, even only with two weeks in the place i was before i got here, where there was no vegitation at all! anways, thhis tree, drooping branches like a waterless weeping willow, was silouetted against the sunrise. It was magic. And i thought to myself, that even here, in a dry and weary land, torn with tragedy, hatred and violence, that God bothers to greet us everymorning with a masterpiece. And for a second, i understood how god's mercy is renewed every morning. And then i lost the moment b.c i had 15 minutes before i had to be at work and i live a 7 minute walk away, had 3 minutes left to go to get back to my "hooch" so i could change and 5 minutes left to put on my clothes. somehow the math didn't add up correctly but thank good ness, i was there before anyone else only 2 minutes past the hour! k gotta go.

Lizards, tiny little lizards, like ants. SOme of you have heard this before, but i am goning to repeat myself because the topic amuses me. They are actually not tiny like ants, more as long as your thumb and skinnier than your pinki. They move like ants, scurrying around, under foot, on the rocks, in the gravel, in a strand or two of some sort of vegitation. And they are the color of sand, or coral or the inside of a shell, pink, delicate. And they crawl on your hand, and up your arm, like ants and potatoe bugs. Ok, well miss you all, and things are great, bu super busy. I really miss the color green. Anways, leave me a note. leave a code name i can figure out or something. 

THANKS